BY CHARLOTTE GRAINGERAPR 19, 2019
JAMES LIGHTBOWNGETTY IMAGES
Ever had a partner ask you to tie them up during sex?
While the request may have thrown you for a loop, the reality is, playing with domination and submission can be a huge turn-on in the bedroom (or, you know, wherever you’re getting it on). For the partner being tied up, there’s often something incredibly hot about handing over complete control.
From the achingly sexy to the hella awkward, here are eight women’s tales of what it was like to be tied up in bed for the first time. Needless to say, the following stories are NSFW.
“I was aching with excitement.”
“It was hot. I’ve been looking for that level of turn-on ever since. Actually, I was a bit nervous. I wasn’t 200% sure I could trust him, and we had a safety word, but he was a total gentleman, and once I felt safe, oh man… He was more into it than me, which in turn had me aching with excitement. Best orgasms ever on both sides. Forgot to add [that] we spent a lot of it just laughing at ourselves and being silly which added to the fun!” [via]
“It was awkward as hell.”
“It was awkward as hell. It was the sort of thing 17-year-olds do because that’s what they think they ought to do in their first long-term sexual relationship. I distinctly remember the first time just feeling really cold, a bit awkward, and quite exposed. It was almost clinical —we probably should have used it as part of the foreplay, not as the foreplay itself.ADVERTISEMENT – CONTINUE READING BELOW
“The first time wasn’t particularly about losing control, or submission, and I don’t remember feeling either of those things until I experimented with it with other people. There was also something distinctly unsexy about not being able to move into a more comfortable position, but in hindsight that was probably more to do with the person and his ‘skills’ than the situation itself.
“In subsequent experiences with more experienced men, it has been far more organic, with the tying up being a part of the process while other stuff is going on, rather than a stand-alone experiment in an awkward cold room between cold teenagers.” —Stephanie*
“He teased my body for hours.”
“The first time my boyfriend tied me, he used soft nylon rope he purchased from Home Depot and did a beautiful ‘shibari harness’ on me. The room was filled with candlelight and erotic music, and there was a large, circular mirror in front of me as he wrapped the rope around me. He took over 20 minutes, delicately, purposefully placing each knot and the rope sensually across my body. I was able to feel the sensation of being bound, but still had the freedom to move. He then laid me on the bed, gently bound my hands, and caressed and teased my body from head to toe — for hours.
“Believe it or not, this was our first intimate evening together (all boundaries pre-set of course) and it was truly one of the most intimate experiences of my life. Since then, as my trust and confidence has grown, so has the degree of our bondage play.” [via]
“I wanted to try something new.”
“I did it on one occasion. I brought it up because we had been together for a few months and wanted to try something new. I find I’m quite a controlling and dominant person, so I wanted to explore the feeling of being out of my comfort zone.
“Initially I struggled with not being able to vocalize what I wanted him to do, as usually, this is pretty obvious when we have sex. Having to actually guide him made me feel initially a bit silly, but I soon relaxed and enjoyed the experience. What I enjoyed was losing some element of control.” —Marissa*
“I fought panic attacks”
“I actually fought panic attacks when I first started bondage. It’s one of my favorite things today, though. It’s pure control. If your hands are bound, you’re giving up control and putting your safety in the hands of another. Can you trust your partner that much?ADVERTISEMENT – CONTINUE READING BELOW
“People enjoy bondage for various reasons. They might like feeling constricted. They might like to give someone else control. They might like how rope feels on the skin (with high-end bondage rope, this alone can send someone to subspace), they might want to see if they can escape, they might want to use to do they don’t accidentally kick their partner while being tickled or something.” [via]
“I was begging him for more.”
“It was actually a one-night stand. I’d met a guy at a club and gone back to his place — he had an attic room in a shared house. Hardly romantic. When we stumbled into his bedroom, I got on the bed and he went straight to his closet to pull out some black handcuffs. I remember laughing but I was already turned on and thought, ‘Why not?’
“He bound both of my wrists to the head of the bed and began to undress me … We played for a long time before having sex and I was begging him for more. I got the impression that this wasn’t his first time — he certainly knew what he was doing.” —Claire*
“The power exchange was a turn-on.”
“I was far more relaxed that I thought I would be, and loved it more than I thought I would. The power exchange was a turn-on, to switch up from being an active participant in sex, to being restrained into a passive recipient of sex, it was amazing.” [via]
“It was nice to be out of control.”
“It was my idea and I just asked my boyfriend at the time to do it, as I knew he wouldn’t refuse and would enjoy it, too. He agreed and thus, we tried it out. The next time he suggested it, since we enjoyed it the first time.
“We used a scarf because it was to hand and the easiest and cheapest thing to use at the time. At first, I wondered whether I was gonna enjoy it but that thought swiftly changed. I was also gagged and blindfolded at the time. It was nice to be out of control and to not know what was going to happen. That’s what turned me in that situation.” —Andrea*
*Names have been changed to allow subjects to speak freely on private matters.CHARLOTTE GRAINGERCharlotte is a freelance journalist with a deep interest in roman